Her Personal Ocean

At first she was chided
this tiny represention of a child
mouth wide as hot droplets spewed from
her scrunched up eyes
and her mother rocked her
comforting while scolding
commanding that there be the stillness
of sleep once more.

Then openly scorned after the fall
sun shining blinding off spokes still spinning
as the boys examine the shallow scrapes
that do not quite qualify as a respecable wound
and besides they taunt she is crying
a girlish thing that cannot be tolarated
so exclusion builds its walls around her.

She is too young to realize
that she now lives the cliche
Spending her every night waiting
weeping softly as she pretends to sleep
maybe it will ring tomorrow evening
at school she watches him who does not know
her number-name-need-nervousness.

Over drinks she tries to explain to
her friends what her new boyfriend is like
hoping they approve but knowing they will
see right through to the glaring faults
she excuses her self to slam a fist into the wall
a public refuge so others like her can pull together
stop that stupid crying she can hear
she knows they are trivial tears.

Isn't it what they always say
everyone cries at a wedding?
Does that include the bride?
Are her tears from happiness?
She lets everyone believe that with a nod
lets get this over with.

Nothing serious the doctor says
just need to watch him for a while
obsevation.
Her husband seems satisfied smiling
after all
nothing is wrong
yet she still wishes for an arm around her shoulders
so they can start shaking
so she talks lightly of fresh air and rushes out
nothing is wrong
sob for a while pretend it is hiccups
nothing.
is.
wrong.

Something is wrong.
But she can make it right
those people were mistaken that came
yesterday
No it must have been today
That young man with his nice family
clasping his arms around her speaking so loud
saying he was her son
but her son is barely ten
or is he still a baby
where is he
don't cry don't cry soothes the nurse
time for your medicine then time for bed
but when is it time to release the ocean sloshing in my head
washing away my memories she screams
and the nurse just turns out the light
 leaves and shuts the door
so no one can hear any crying anymore.